Hatemail Written About My Music Criticism

Sometimes I write a review for an album that provokes a hilariously passionate -- though not very grammatical, or logical-- screed againstme.

Subject: MY HOMIES

I WONDER WHAT GIVES SOMEONE LIKE YOU THE GALL TO JUDGE SOMEONE AS CREATIVE AS MR. SCARFACE IN SUCH A HARSH AND CLOSE MINDED WAY? EVIDENLY THE ALBUM WAS NOT MADE FOR BROWN NOSE ,MY SHIT DONT STINK, OUT OF TOUCH WITH MY SENSE OF REALITY , TIGHT ASS , DONT KNOW MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE YOURSELF. KEEP YOUR BITCH ASS OPINIONS TO YOURSELF.
STILL THUGGIN,
MOE GREEN
P.S. FUCK YOU

Subject: JUST THOUGT OF SOMETHING ELSE

I JUST VISITED YOUR WEBSITE AND I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS. YOU ARE A FUCKING MARK. YOU DO NOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT?A SCARY LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER , OR A COWARD IN TERMS YOU ARE MORELIKELY TO UNDERSTAND. HOW DO I KNOW THIS ? MY 22 YAERS ON THIS EARTHHAVE ALLOWED ME THE OPPURTUNITY TO MIX WITH ALL TYPES OF PEOPLEAND STUDYING PEOPLE IS JUST A GIFT THE GOOD LORD HAS ENDOWED MEWITH, ANYWAY I CAN SEE THE BITCH IN YOUR EYES. IF YOU THINK IM WRONGNEXT TIME YOU SEE A REAL BROTHER WHO IS A REAL NIGGA LIKE MYSELFSTARE AT HIM LIKE YOU KNOW HIM AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL , THAT HAIR YOU FEEL STANDING UP ON YOUR NECK MEANS THAT YOU ARE SCARED SENSELESS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT HE WOULD PROBABLY REAM YOU A NEW ASSHOLE. I ONLY HOPE THAT I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF MEETING YOU ONE DAY SO THATI MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE TO VOICE MY DISPLEASURE TO YOU , PHYSICALLY. NEXT TIME STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW DONT GO STICKING YOUR NOSE IN PLACES YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT , YOU AINT NEVER BEEN BLACK, YOU AINTEVER WENT THROUGH THE THINGS THAT WE GO THROUGH AND YOU PROBABLY AINT NEVER HURT A FLY.
STILL THUGGIN YOU BIIIIITCH!!!!
MOE MOTHERFUCKIN
GREEN

Subject: The End

I'm gonna hunt yor ass down, and stop your life you cock-eyed pieceof
shit.
Jon Bllaze

Subject: Puff Daddy and The Family

Since when do you get off to criticize against a guy who producedmillions of singles and turned old songs into a new hip hop age.Puff Daddy is a guy who himself wants to see people succeed andwhat you are trying to say is that he is no better than MC Hammer?Hammer went broke after making songs that had no meaning to. PuffDaddy is a guy who' CD "No Way Out" was about his lifeand the Death of the friend Christopher Wallace aka The NotoriusB.I.G. Puff Daddy takes some old song beats and brings it into theworld. Such as "I'll Be Missing You". Tell me that isa new song, but with an old beat. That is one of the best song titlesof the year. Or such as his song "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"the song basically meant that he was expressing his time on thesteets and seeing how people are screwing up their lives.

If you think Puff daddy is no way better than M.C. Hammer thansomething is wrongwith you pal. Only someone sick would think that"I'll be Missing You" is a song with no meaning. You ratedthe CD Trash when you out of all the reviewers out there say itwas good and an original CD. Coincidence I think not. "EveryBreath You Take" be the police was a lovely song, and so Is"I'll Be Missing You". And you thinking this is the worstMC Hammer please. Don't even try to compare Puff Daddy to MC Hammer.Futher more I know this is you Opinion, but listen closely to theCD and you will get it. You opinion is just like any other person,just think next time before you say it.
Gen4Goku

Subject: Unified Theory

You review of Unified Theory was a piece of shit.
And so are you. Are you DEAF??????
Tony Cappello

Subject: Brad Smith of Unified Theory

I would like to thank you for your wonderfully shallow review ofour new band. Although critics opinions are purely subjective andhave rights there in, I should point out that I have life experiencesto back up every lyric i have ever written.
You gave our band 1.5 stars, i would still like to thank you, beforethat i had none.
one of the stupor four....hehe
Brad Smith